Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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