once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
