just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
