my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I look excited, but its just a facade.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
