My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
