I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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