YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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