i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
