I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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