I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
