We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
