He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
