alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
