just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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