On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
