Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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