my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
