i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize