Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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