i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
