I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
