Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize