once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He shit in the fireplace
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize