can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
