On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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