apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
