some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
