Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
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