Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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