why didn't you poke me back
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
