got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
