omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
