you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
