i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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