It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Will exercising make me less horny?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
