Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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