I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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