didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
