I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
