Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
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