Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
