with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
