oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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