I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
