i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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