fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
