It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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