so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
