The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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