Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize