how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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