I'm lost and stupid without you.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
