he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
