I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
