You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
