You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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