hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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