why didn't you poke me back
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
