Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
