he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
