I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
