I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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