i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
