yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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