They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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