did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
where am i from again
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
