did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
