Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize