then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
