I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you traded sex for a burrito?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
