I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize