i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
