Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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