ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
