Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize