Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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